I’ve noticed that common street signs have undergone a reflective upgrade, from Cheez-It yellow …
… to NEON CHARTREUSE YELLOW (paint chip, below).
While we’re at it, why not update the signage art to be more reflective of our times? For instance:
1. School crossing.
Gone are the days kids carried books and eagerly darted to class.
Nowadays, they are plugged-in, tuned-out and let their fingers do the walking on touch-screens.
2. Pedestrian crossing.
Yesteryear’s jaywalker.
Today, we’re talking WIDE TURNS and possible Hitchcock sightings.
3. HOV lanes.
Haven’t seen this yet, but give it time.
4. Four-way intersection.
Pretty straightforward? Well, in Northern Virginia, some intersections are so terrifying, we all could use a little dashboard Jesus. (That’s “dashboard cheeses,” for pals Treva and Patty.)
5. Deer crossing.
Artist’s rendering evokes merry ol’ Rudolph, plump and ready to roast.
As development encroaches on their space, they look like a new species, perhaps something out of Somalia.
6. Here are signs I simply find puzzling:
˙
How do they know there isn’t anyone crossing?!?!
7. HUH? “Inherently”? Is that really a “traffic-sign” word?
8. I thought the phrase was “Share the ROAD,” bikers. Must be backlash for the 51,000 bikers injured yearly in traffic (2009 National Highway Traffic Safety Administration data).
9. And finally, a cause I can get behind. Don’t know about, you, but I am sick of it and soon might be seen on the streets carrying this protest sign.
Bonus feature: Here is a shot I took in the woods behind our home in Fairfax, Va., of an actual hungry deer, foraging around high noon, perhaps posing for a new sign. Poor thing.
(Photo by Terry Byrne; all rights reserved.)
Mommy Tongue 